The Sun

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View from my workplace window

It’s easy to become overwhelmed and lost. “Numbness is this culture’s by default state” says Carolyn Baker in her “Navigating the coming chaos” book.

I ask many times: what I’m doing here? Why don’t I just leave this job and start my own practice, dedicating my full-time to teach community workshops and provide ethical and transformational life coaching to those who want to do something different, instead of killing myself by trying to juggle a FT job in “mainstream” while doing all what matters scattered through weekends, evenings, vacation and days off?

I know why: debt and a commitment to others.

Then I look through the window and Mary Oliver, my friend (even when she doesn’t know me, we are already sisters), answers my questions with a poem:

“Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone–
and how it slides again

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance–
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love–

do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you

as you stand there,
empty-handed–
or have you too
turned from this world–

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?”
~ Mary Oliver

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