“Adventure may hurt you, but monotony will kill you” ~ Unknown
“Hurt people hurt people” says the saying…
Everything in life, everything around us, what defines us, absolutely all is made of patterns, says systems theory (and Permaculture, based on the former)
There is only one way to stop the pain, the damage, the erosion: consciously decide to stop the cycle!
A chain of events and signs have been showing around me in the last 10+ days: a stranger with a hospital tag still around his wrist sought conversation at the skytrain: everybody was leaving him alone; I sat with him and talked. He shook my hand before getting off at Stadium station.
Later last week I read that a woman on her 70’s took the hand of a very distressed individual who had been swearing and restless in the skytrain while everyone else was running away from him. He finally calmed and sat, crying, while still keeping his hand in this old lady’s hand.
Today, a young man was challenged and cried: his life has not been perfect and therefore he isn’t perfect either; at the bus stop, I met a drunken guy and couldn’t help but feel threatened myself. Loyal to my own values, I responded to his questions. After all the scare, he ended being funny and probably a good guy having a bad time.
We tell ourselves stories: as people, as communities, as a society. These stories create patterns of what’s expected and accepted and what’s not. We decide as a group what’s “good” and “normal” and what is not. We reward some and punish others: these responses create a systemic pattern (or archetype) known as “success to the successful”: the more rewards, the better a person will feel and perform. The opposite is also true.
As a counsellor, I know there are people who have always been rejected, looked down, made feel inappropriate, useless.
A few may overcome this, many don’t.
Having a perfect life is not an achievement: it is in many ways a privilege. Even an undeserved one: as long as there are others out there suffering, struggling, being left down, nobody else “deserves” a perfect life.
It is too easy to like and love the “naturally” beautiful, young, appropriate, optimistic, funny; it is too easy to provide opportunities and open doors to the ones that do all well: the ones who always know how to dress and behave…
But to stop the cycle, we have to do more: we have to listen to the ones nobody listens, we have to look in the eyes of the not-so-pretty-or-young ones; we have to understand the ones whose behaviour is erratic or, frustrating or even scary.
We have to see the world through compassionate eyes. We need to consciously discover the pattern and stop the cycle.
It is the only way…and our strongly power:
Be Intentional. Break the Cycle: http://ethicalpathways.com/2016/02/12/challenge-1-break-the-cycle/
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~ Confucius