All is Personal

“Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.Where there is hatred, let me sow love,Where there is injury, pardon;Where there is doubt, faith;Where there is despair, hope;Where there is darkness, light;And where there is sadness, joy.O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,to be understood as to understand,to be loved, as to love.For it is in giving that we receive,It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” ~ Francis of Assisi

This society teaches us to be detached, to not to take things personal, to run away from “toxic people”, to take care of ourselves first and set boundaries…

As a consequence,  the social media is full of “memes” about that stuff; we are so disassociated that we consider sane and healthy those who can disconnect easily. Those who say the only we can do for those who have nothing or suffer is praying; those who can watch or read the terrible news about wars, illnesses, hunger and human tragedy and then turn to their dinners and laugh; those who can allow entire forests to be cut, ecosystems die, wild creatures become homeless and turn their heads in name of progress or jobs…

There is something in me that rejects all that.  The countless courses,  readings, lectures and practical workshops on conflict management,  human psychology, social services, coaching and the like are worthless unless I decide consciously to show my humanity, my vulnerability, my honesty. When I decide to allow compassion to guide me, when I see the ancestral connection,  when I embrace that this “toxic”, hurting, angry, frustrated, even aggressive person is most probably suffering, struggling, screaming for help…when I take all this “personal”, that’s when the healing (mine, his, hers, yours, the world’s) starts.

I had a few “difficult” cases at work today; I live with mental health issues at home everyday; mental health, abuse, neglect, isolation and hurt has been part of my personal and family history and I know I’m not the first, or the only, and unfortunately not the last one either…but it’s in me to stop the cycle of erosion and hurt. There are people for whom the only story they are shown is rejection, shunning,  shaming and abandoning to their own means. I say no to that.  I don’t want to be part of that game.

I want to be able to stay curious and caring, to look them in the eye and show we are connected, to cry and scream and get outside and cry out with all my lungs when a child is abused, when a man is humiliated or tortured, a woman battered…I want to feel and embrace that all what happens in this world is personal, I want to stay involved, I want to feel the pain.

 

Do keep me this way…

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